024 – Inspired Every Day, by Kevin Paul Scott

In this episode, Kevin Paul Scott and I dug into his book “Inspired Every Day“.

You can listen to the episode here:

You can find more about Kevin at KevinPaulScott.com or find him on LinkedIn here.

Full Transcript:

Mickey: Warren Buffett famously said it takes 20 years to build a reputation in five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.

In a similar vein, he told his employees, lose money for the firm and I will be understanding, lose a shred of reputation for the firm and I will be ruthless.

So that was a quick snippet from Kevin Paul Scott’s book “Inspired Every Day”. And here to discuss it is Kevin Paul Scott. So Kevin, welcome to the show.

Kevin: Hey, thanks Mickey. It’s good to be here with you

Mickey: Yeah, I’m excited to chat. So. Yeah, you have a greater insight on this book than most of the people we bring on that talk about other books.

So I’m excited to dig in here. So why don’t you give people an overview of Inspired Everyday and kind of what led you to write it and what you’re hoping people get out of it at a high level.

Kevin: This, uh, inspired every day was the book that I didn’t want to write, but I felt like I had to write because, uh, I went through a period for a number of years of feeling a little insecure about this idea of [00:01:00] inspiration. Quick context for you. I co founded a company called Addo and Addo is the Latin word for inspire.

And so at the heartbeat of what we do. Our mission is to inspire people today to impact tomorrow. Transparently, there were some years, 2016, 2017, 2018. We’re kind of here where I had some people that said like, well, inspiration, that’s not a real business. Like you can be a nonprofit and be about inspiration.

You can be a church, but. not a real business. Um, but I ask two questions of leaders thousands of times over the years that really helped, um, create the backdrop for this book. Question number one, are you inspired at work right now? you inspired at work right now? And Mickey, it’s like, it’s pretty depressing because when people are honest, most are

Mickey: Right.

Kevin: Uh, the latest Gallup research says [00:02:00] 79 percent of the, uh, American workforce is disengaged at work.

Mickey: Yeah.

Kevin: Four out of five is not a good

Mickey: No.

Kevin: not good. So most people when they’re honest are not inspired at work right now. But then I’d ask this other question. you think of a time in your life you have been inspired? And almost without fail, people can think of times they have been inspired. And so the question was, why is there a gap? if we could determine. What existed in our environment when we are inspired? Could we reverse engineer that inspiration into our lives on a daily basis? Does that make sense?

Mickey: Yeah.

Kevin: If we can figure out what does it take to be inspired?

Could we fix the problem when we find ourselves uninspired?

Mickey: Gotcha. So what are some of the steps? I have a lot of little things I want to dig into, but I want to get a little more overview I think first. What are some of the main pieces you advise people to take to get their troops more inspired? Mm hmm. Right.

Kevin: I’m going to, I feel a more of a need to [00:03:00] share, uh, candidly, because I shared this with you. The answers in the book were not the answers I wanted. I wanted a 10 step process of how to be inspired. Here are the 10 things here. But what I ended up finding is there are a whole bunch of things that could help you be inspired, but there were three, what I call indispensable ingredients, which means. without these three, you cannot, you will not be inspired. In fact, if you find I’ve challenged people since the book has come out, you find a time you’re inspired where you’re lacking one of those three? And I haven’t found them and I won’t spend a lot of time on them. But those three are purpose, partners and problems. Purpose. You could define a lot of different ways, but that’s about something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. You may call it vision. You may call it mission. Uh, you may just even think about it as goals. But we’ve got to know what we’re aiming for, what, what, what that purpose is. [00:04:00] Partners is about people, but it’s more than just warm bodies. It’s partners. Somebody on the journey with us, uh, that could be coworkers. It could be our family. It could be our friends. if you’re a solopreneur, it could be just your clients, but somebody who’s in this with you, who’s, who’s cheering you on and challenging you. the third piece is problems. Um, and nobody making nobody wants more problems. But what I found is you will never consistently be inspired if there’s not some level of challenge in your life. what has been interesting as I study this is there’s a lot of people who are successful in life. Some even who have retired and it’s at that moment they find themselves uninspired because they don’t have the same challenges that they used to have.

And so it takes all three purpose, partners and problems. and yes, there’s a bunch more, but you’ve got to have those three. [00:05:00] If you’re going to be inspired.

Mickey: Gotcha. Love it. So a lot of what you talked about in the book revolved around listening. I pulled out a few different quotes from that I wanted to hit. The first one, I’ve mentioned to you already, but you said, quote, Who is the best listener you know? What is that person’s impact on you and others? And so you kind of, by asking the second question, you kind of explained why the first one mattered.

Like, a person that’s a great listener tends to have more of an impact. And the world around them rather than a great talker per se. And when you say who’s the best listener, you know, I think in theory you should say, well, I’m a pretty darn good listener and I think I am a good listener, but I can look at others even on my team and say, they’re better listeners than I am.

So it’s kind of inspired me to be a better listener. But what are your thoughts kind of on, on that angle of things?

Kevin: Well, the idea of listening really goes back to the idea of inspiration because I have found that, um, you’re truly inspired, you have that clear purpose. And I believe that a compelling purpose is always others focused. when you, um, tend to focus on yourself all the time, which is how we [00:06:00] think we’re going to be more inspired.

We tend to, uh, we actually become less inspired somebody. I think there’s an old quote that says like happiness pursued eludes. So what does that have to do with listening? Well, the people who are good listeners. Are usually focused more on other people. You know, when I’m focused on myself, I’m focused on what I want to say and what I can do it.

And listening, the more that you’re in tuned to other people, the more that you’re able, uh, to see their needs, to meet their needs. And I felt like that’s where we find our most compelling purpose.

Mickey: and that’s the thing I think I’m bad about that I see is that when someone’s talking I’m trying to think of how am I gonna respond to this versus just being there? But it’s also I’m not as good on my feet speaking either and so I feel unprepared. I think it gets back I’m an Enneagram five if you’ve ever gone into Enneagram stuff and I need to have all the answers ready and good to go It’s I have to be prepared which I think is It’s hurting my listening, but there’s still that.

Another quote related to this I loved is he said, quote, we haven’t really listened until we can explain the [00:07:00] other person’s point or predicament as well as he or she can. Something Charlie Munger’s talked about a lot. He said, uh, quote from his book, he said, it’s bad to have an opinion you’re proud of if you can’t state the arguments for the other side better than your opponents.

This is a great mental discipline. And so I think it’s a lot of, it’s kind of the idea of a steel man. If you’re familiar with that, like we all know a straw man where you set up and knock it down to steel man is I’m going to defend your side better than you can. I’m still going to be against it, but I know it so well, I can give all the defenses for it.

And I think it’s a valuable thing to help listen. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that, that phrase before, but I’m curious, any other thoughts on understanding other people as a form of listening?

Kevin: Yeah. I mean, it, that really goes back to empathy.

Mickey: Mm hmm.

Kevin: I think Brene Brown’s done some great work on this. Um, You know, you’ll never fully empathize with somebody else until you can your best to understand why they believe what they believe and what they’re going through. And, and for some reason, we have, um, we’ve too much thought that, [00:08:00] uh, listening to understand means that we have to agree. Um, and it doesn’t, it just means we need to understand. And in fact, you’re interested in persuading people and trying to move them to your argument, the better you understand it, the more, uh, more effective you will be at, uh, being able to do that,

Mickey: Yep, for sure. Yeah, that’s a great way to say, yeah, I’ve, I’ve written a few times on that. There’s a lot of situations. Um, I read a book where a woman talked about, she’s very liberal and wanted to understand Trump supporters better. So she went and just talked to them and understood why they voted the way they didn’t got some great insights on it.

She said, you know what? If I was in your shoes, I would vote that way too. In that case, it was people out West, um, worried about the waters of the United States regulations, where if a body of water forms on your property, the government can claim it. And they felt that Trump would better let them keep their property than others.

She said, you know what? I never thought of that one perspective. She’s thinking of. All the other arguments, but say, Hey, I understand where you’re coming from. I get it. I don’t totally agree, but now I understand what you’re saying. And yeah, I support you on that. So it’s, yeah. Understanding doesn’t mean agreement, but it can be very helpful.[00:09:00]

You talk about, um, empathy. Another thing you talked about that I loved, I hate, but I loved was, um, this quote here, you said, quote, we’re now using a strategy that has been common in wars for centuries. We dehumanize our opponents. In combat, seeing people in the other army as less than human makes it easier to despise them.

I see this a lot, kind of, in politics, too. The big one I see is the word illegals. You know, where Pro or however you feel about the border and all that. If you call them illegals, you’re dehumanizing people to say, Hey, it’s easier to just call that person, that, that thing and illegal rather than a human trying to come across the border and having things there.

So I see, I see that quite a bit where, yeah, you’re, you’re, you’re othering. I think is how, um, Adam Grant says it, you know, putting people in a different group that just isn’t the same as you at a lower level and yeah, that’s been happening for centuries and it’s a good way, good way to, I guess, bolster your side, but not a very good way to be a good human.

Kevin: what’s interesting. And I know you’re talking about it from a macro perspective. I’m really thinking about a lot of times. how we do this in our closest interpersonal relationships. I say it [00:10:00] this way that we often put people in a box and we put a label on it,

Mickey: Okay.

Kevin: and they may not be as strong as the terms you use, but we’ll say something like, uh, she’s lazy or he’s stupid. Um, when we do that, I always talk about that. The way you see people is the way you treat

Mickey: Mm hmm.

Kevin: And so we’ve got to be focused to not, uh, when we do that, we are creating this self fulfilling prophecy because we then begin to treat them in a certain way. And as long as we continue to treat them that way, we’re going to get some of the same results that we’ve been getting.

Mickey: Gotcha. Yep. That’s a good way to put it getting getting to your inner circle. There was one quote in here I just love that’s kind of beat me up a little bit too You’ve kind of killed me with a few of these quotes in here, but this one I’ll read it. It’s fairly lengthy I’ll read the whole thing here. You said In a life for a life written in the middle of the 19th century novelist, Dyna Marie Craig describes this level of friendship and she said, quote, owe the comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure [00:11:00] words, but pouring them all right out just as they are chaff, ingrained together.

Certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. And I love that and I hate it. I think it’s beautiful, but I also think, I have some pretty close friends. I don’t know of any that close that I can just say everything I want and I can trust that they’ll just let the bad stuff just go away and only focus on the good.

But I thought it was just a beautiful statement she made and the kind of relationships we should all strive to have in our lives.

Kevin: Well, Mickey, I’m not very good at that either. I am an Enneagram three, which means I like to perform, but I also like to please

Mickey: Yep.

Kevin: And so I find that I often tell people what they want to

Mickey: Mm hmm. Mm

Kevin: to hear. Let me throw you a couple more quotes at you. One I shared with your team, but this, um, from, uh, William Gardner that said, um, I pity the leader caught between unloving critics and uncritical lovers. It’s actually John Gardner, unloving critics and uncritical lovers, basically saying, [00:12:00] I feel sorry for people that on one end have unloving critics, people that don’t like them and aren’t kind. And on the other end, uncritical lovers. These are people who claim they like us, but they tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to

Mickey: Right.

Kevin: And they’re saying that we need the kind of people, this inner circle who encourages us and challenges us. Um, you know, I find that as leaders move higher up, they’re often surrounded by people who tell them more of what they want to hear. Uh, Peggy Noonan, uh, the famed, uh, Speechwriter for Ronald Reagan said it this way.

She said, candor is a compliment. It implies equality. And what she’s saying is when we are, um, candid with people, when we choose to have that kind of conversation, that actually is a way of seeing people the way we should see them. Because if we see them as being above us or one up, we want to tell them what they want to hear because we want to impress them. [00:13:00] Or sometimes we see people like they’re beneath us. And so I can’t give them that feedback because it will hurt their feelings or I can’t do it. When we see each other eye to eye will be willing to have the kind of candid conversations that they deserve.

Mickey: Gotcha. I love that. Gary Vaynerchuk’s talked about this a lot lately with kind candor. He came from a household growing up where his dad was super candorous and was just a jerk. Like, just, and so he said, I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to be a jerk. I’m going to treat people with respect and kindness.

And so he was just super kind and never told the truth. He’s, he’s explained some careers he’s kind of ruined that way where he didn’t tell people they needed to know. And so his big push now is to, is to have that candor, but do it kindly. You don’t have to be a jerk with candor. You can, you can say things nicely, but still tell the truth.

But it’s a certainly a, a slim balance. And then of course that quote from Dinah here goes, I think considerably deeper than that even to be able to have neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but just to say anything you want and trust that the person you’re with is, is, you know, so close to you, they can receive it all.

But yeah, at a slightly higher level, a few steps up, I think candor is an issue. Yeah. [00:14:00] A lot of us face and something I still struggle with too. I want to, you know, cause my team, I know they’re working hard. They’re doing the best. I love them all to death. And if they make a mistake, I’m like, but they don’t make many mistakes.

I’m not, you know, it’s, but, but fixing that will fix things for all of us and make it smoother in the future. So yeah, candors, candors, a tough one,

Kevin: So, I mean, this is in the context of inspiration and work, but I think it’s just true in life. This idea that we, we all need these kind of friends and relationships and some of that’s a spouse and some of it is a friend or a group. But we desperately need that. I love this old quote, um, that said, uh, I think it was C.

S. Lewis. He said, friendship is like art. has no survival value, meaning you don’t need it to survive. And then he says but yet it’s one of those things that gives a value to survival. And, um, I think that is true that this idea and a lot of you will say, [00:15:00] Kevin, what does that do? Inspiration? Well, if you look out of the landscape right now, uh, people are lonelier than they’ve ever been.

Uh, I think one in five adult men may adult males say they have no friends in their life. Zero. There’s an old book a number of years ago called Bowling Alone, it’s gotten worse than that in these days. So

Mickey: which is so great. I mean, I’ve seen the same kind of numbers, but it feels so counterintuitive. Like we’re more connected than ever. We have more ways to see people and stuff, but we’re not with people. I mean, we’re, we’re on video and just kind of in superficial. Conversations. And it’s, yeah, a whole different thing than having a true friend.

Um, that’s, that’s a good point. Um, another thing I’ve kind of shifting gears a little bit, we talked about experience over degrees. You said, but quote, but again, even if you fail, you will have gotten a very good education. One that is often far more valuable than any diploma on your wall. We’ve heard this from all kinds of folks, you know, Thomas Edison and Henry Ford and people going back years about how failure made them who they were.

And I kind of see [00:16:00] that too, where in our case we’re hiring. I mean, certainly, you know, you’re a UGA grad, Robert’s UGA grad. Like I look at where people went to school, but it doesn’t really matter that much. I want to know what kind of person they are, what kind of skills they’ve acquired since then, and you know, really a degree is a relatively little value when we’re hiring compared to who the person is and what they’ve gone through before.

And it’s, I think the whole world is kind of shifting that way a bit more. I don’t want to downplay the value of college with. I have two girls in college right now, one at UGA, so go dogs. But, um, I also feel that’s kind of slipping. What are your thoughts on like formal education versus experience and failure and how that shapes, especially as someone that owns a business and does a good bit of hiring.

Kevin: yeah, I think both can be valuable. I think, um, mean, when I say both, both formal education and informal education, I think for either it’s, what can you take and learn from that? And a lot of it is all about perspective. Um, my business partner at Addo, has a, a degree from Harvard and a graduate degree from Harvard. So [00:17:00] that’s obviously valuable. It unlocks opportunities and doors, how that. But I remember we went through a season in our business that was really challenging with a business partner and some some issues a number of years ago. And I was sitting across someone the table from someone, you know, a guy named David Salyers. At the time he was, uh, still, uh, vice president at Chick fil a and I was sharing with him the issues I went through and he looked across the table at me and he said, congratulations, you just got your MBA. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I just got screwed is what happened. I didn’t get my MBA. And he said, no, he said, when you get an MBA, he said, it costs you time it costs you money, but you walk away learning something that’s going to help you in the future. And he said, this experience you just had cost you time. And it costs you money. But he said, you learned a lesson you’ll never forget, and it will shape you for the rest of your life. And so I think it’s [00:18:00] how do we take that experience? And then what I would challenge people to do is to use that experience and be able to talk about it in a way that is basically gives you the same credibility as a degree, because that’s the challenges.

If you got a piece of paper that says this is what I’ve done, people understand that they don’t always understand your experiences. And so you’ve got a way to got to find a way to contextualize them, uh, as you try to share those in the

Mickey: Yep. Yeah. I think at least for me, it’s a fraction of that. I think what you said is far better, but things like LinkedIn, like if we’re looking to hire some, I’ll go on their LinkedIn and not see what they’ve done necessarily, but see what they’ve said. You know, most people are, they sharing news and insights and are they, Involved in what they’re doing or are they just, you know, it, they may not be posting on LinkedIn and maybe super involved in, in their industry, but it’s hard to tell, like you said, you can’t just say, here’s my paper for super involvement, you know, like there’s not such a thing.

And so that’s where, yeah, I’m certainly not downplaying college at all. Cause it is a, an easy way to say, Hey, this person stuck with it. They’ve learned some [00:19:00] stuff. They, they don’t quit. Like it gives you a lot of intangibles on a piece of paper, but yes, the other side of stuff that interests me more, but it’s certainly.

Way, way harder to quantify. Um,

Kevin: For sure.

Mickey: I think I’ve got one more little section I want to hit, and then I’ll let you kind of wrap up with any final thoughts, but talking about regrets, he said, quote, Mike Batterson describes two kinds of regrets, regrets of action and regrets of inaction. We usually focus on the dumb things we’ve done, but we need to become more aware of the magnificent, magnificent, magnificent things we didn’t do.

And so this reminded me a lot of the power of regret, the famous book there. Um, he talks about what the type of regrets in that book. One of them is boldness. And you know, you regret not being bold in a situation. And that’s something. I think a lot of people don’t think about it with regret. You say regret to someone, people regret generally the things they did.

I’m sorry I said that thing. I’m sorry I did that action. I’m sorry I drove the car too fast. I’m sorry, you know, for things they didn’t do. But yeah, reminding yourself of the things you failed to do can be equally big of a regret. You didn’t take that chance. You didn’t take that job. I think it’s a good way just to, to remember both kinds of those to, to help shape you.

Kevin: No doubt. And I’m just I [00:20:00] turned 40 a couple weeks ago, so I think I’m keenly aware of this just right now of thinking about, know, that’s a good time to evaluate. How are things going? And I, um, being somebody who cares a lot about what people think. I often wonder, are there, um, dreams that I’m not pursuing or their challenges?

I’m not tackling because I’m concerned of what somebody would think or what would happen if I fail. Um, so I think when we are truly inspired Inspiration is great, but it has to then lead to action. Um, and I think that is the missing link for some people is they find that inspiration, but they have, they lack the courage to take action.

And so, I hope if anybody’s listening and they’ve got that nudge or something that’s on their heart that, uh, have the courage to pursue it.

Mickey: Gotcha. Well said. So if people want to find out more, they can, [00:21:00] we’ll put a link to your book and stuff in the show notes. But before we get to that, do you have any final thoughts on the book? Anything you wanted to cover that we didn’t get to?

Kevin: Well, I just, I think people, um, When you think about inspiration, people often think about the rah rah, like they think about the time they were inspired when their sports team won the deal or they made the, the, the musical, there we go, Michigan when they, oh man, that’s brutal. You got hard balls gone now

Mickey: Yeah, there you go. Right.

Kevin: it, this idea of being inspired every day is, is not always going to look like that rah, rah, it is the willingness to get up and to tackle the challenges and to keep going. Um, and so I just encourage people to find a way it doesn’t have to be this a book, but find a way to stay inspired because, um, we’re inspired, We live, I think the purpose for which we are created to live. I think it’s better for our families. It’s better for our coworkers and it’s [00:22:00] ultimately more fulfilling for ourselves. So I would, this would be my number one challenge, figure out what it takes for you to stay inspired. Yes, there’s these three things, but if it’s a quiet time, you need to have, if it’s exercise, if it’s that you need to read these podcasts, I don’t know what you, you need to tape things to the mirror.

So it gets whatever it takes for you. You got to have the willingness to do it because the world needs people to be inspired.

Mickey: Gotcha. I love the, how you started that too. Talking about the rah rah. Cause I’m very much not a rah rah guy. Like when I coach soccer for my daughter’s team, I just say, just do your job. Like they’re seven years old. They need rah rah, but I’m just not a rah rah guy. And so I tend to shy away from this kind of book about the rah rah inspiration stuff.

But for those that haven’t read it yet, it’s not about that. I mean, certainly you have the inspiring pieces in it, but it’s more, more of a tactical approach to inspiration, which seems. So weird, but it’s fantastic. And it’s a great way to look at things. So yeah, kudos, kudos on another great book there. Um, if people want to track you down and find out more about you and again, I have some links in the show notes, but where can they find you online?[00:23:00]

Kevin: Yeah, kevinpaulscott. com is probably the best way and trying to just share a lot more on LinkedIn these days. So, uh, LinkedIn, Kevin Paul Scott. as we said, I just go by Kevin, but Kevin Scott is too

Mickey: Right.

Kevin: there’s the three first

Mickey: Yeah. Yeah. I’m very fortunate. If you spell my name correctly, there’s not another one out there. So yeah, it works out well for me. So

Kevin: are very fortunate.

Mickey: Appreciate your time, man. Talk to you later.​