In this episode, Anita Henderson and I dug into “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield.
You can listen to the episode here:
You can find more about Anita at WriteYourLife.net or connect with her on LinkedIn.
Full Transcript:
Mickey Mellen
We don’t tell ourselves, I’m never going to write my symphony. Instead we say, I’m going to write my symphony. I’m just going to start tomorrow. And that was a little bit from the book, The War of Art, not to be confused with the Art of War. And here to discuss it with me today is Anita Henderson. So Anita, welcome.
Anita Henderson (00:13)
Hey Mickey, thanks for having me.
Mickey Mellen (00:15)
Yeah, so good to have you here. So as with all these podcasts, you were the one that chose this book for us to discuss. So tell us a bit about why you like this book and why you wanted to chat more about
Anita Henderson (00:25)
wow. I like this book because it is one that I recommend to my clients often. I am an author coach and book publishing strategist, my founder and CEO of The Right Image and creator of the Write Your Life author coaching program. And so that’s exactly what I do. I coach and support C -suite executives and entrepreneurs, seasoned entrepreneurs.
to write, publish, and leverage their business building books. yeah, it’s pretty much a war for them to get the words out. None of my clients are writers. They are professionals in their own right and very successful experts and authorities. So the struggle is real when it comes to writing a book, like a real book that people can consume and learn something
Mickey Mellen (01:00)
Yeah.
Anita Henderson (01:19)
or be entertained by. And so the War of Art is sort of just right in my hip pocket as a reference for them to overcome some of the excuses. I call them excuses. They call them reasons why they haven’t written the book they’ve been trying to write for five years. And this is one among a handful of books that I often recommend to help them get over the hump of resistance, which is what the War of Art is all
Mickey Mellen (01:34)
Yep.
Yep, he talks about that a lot in the book. Yeah, one quote I think it’s good to start with. He said from the book, someone once asked Somerset Mom if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. He said, quote, I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately, it strikes every morning at nine o ‘clock sharp. And so I think that’s kind of what you’re saying. Like, the resistance is there, so if you wait for it, you’re going to wait forever. But if you just get to it and get to work, that’s what a lot of this book was, I think, is just get off your butt and do it and not keep waiting for things to happen.
Anita Henderson (02:14)
Get off your butt and do it. You can come up with a million excuses, and they’re all what Pressfield, Steven Pressfield, the author of this book, calls resistance. And it shows up in a lot of different ways for people. Again, for me, I call them excuses. The writers, whatever your art is, whatever your craft is, whatever your dream is, we can come up with a million excuses not to do it. It can be painful.
It’s frightening. Pressfield talks about fear as one form of resistance. But we have to ask ourselves, how much do I really want this? And what am I willing to do, sort of to sacrifice and push forward to accomplish my dream and create my craft?
Mickey Mellen (03:01)
So tell me more about the fear. What are people afraid of when it comes to
Anita Henderson (03:05)
Well, in my experience, they’re afraid of success. They’re afraid of failure. They’re afraid when it comes to a book that expresses their knowledge or their life, right? Maybe they’re writing memoir and they want to inspire people. They’re instructing someone on what their expertise is. They’re afraid it’s going to suck, right? They’re thinking that I’m writing this book and it’s going to be
Mickey Mellen (03:26)
Mm -hmm.
Anita Henderson (03:31)
So I know, I’ve helped dozens and dozens of people write and publish their books. There’s sort of a process they go through once they finally say yes and we get into the process. They at some points say to me, is it really good? Is it terrible? I know when that point hits that we’re on a good trajectory. But Pressfield in The War of Art talks about fear being really one of those gut
parts of creativity that resistance feeds on. Resistance feeds on fear. It’s really fueled by the fear that we have. Fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear of failure. And that’s what stops us in our tracks. It makes us just be like, I don’t know if I can do this. Like I’m afraid of being laughed at. I’m afraid that it’s going to be terrible. I mean, I’m working with professionals and so their book is not just a book. It’s a reflection of their
reputation and their knowledge. And so they are afraid that if it sucks, then, you know, it’s all over. I think, yeah, so that resistance shows up and it is fueled by fear and that halts you in your tracks. And it makes way for all kinds of other excuses.
Mickey Mellen (04:34)
Yep. Yep. Gotcha.
Yep, and like the book says a lot, you just sort of said, yeah, you can listen to the fear and you’ll come up with plenty of excuses or you could just sit down at nine o ‘clock every morning and start writing and that’s the best way to get through is just to go and not try to resolve the fear and maybe it won’t stink and worry about all that stuff or just go do it. And I think this book is very much a just go do it, you know.
Anita Henderson (05:05)
Right? It is. It’s like, as Nike says, right, just do it, just get the thing done. Pressfield talks about, you know, he goes sort of through a day in the life of a writer, which he is. He’s like, yeah, I get up in the morning, you know, six o ‘clock, I brush my teeth, I drink my coffee, I sit down to my writing table, I crank out a bunch of words. I get up and then I go do my thing. And he says,
Mickey Mellen (05:11)
There you go. Yep.
Anita Henderson (05:33)
Are they great words? I have no idea. Did I really hit the nail on the head? I don’t even care. I did the thing that I said I was going to do. Like I pushed through. I pushed through the resistance. I eliminated perfectionism, the fears that I have, all the excuses, worrying about what other people think. And I just did it. Like that was his battlefield every day. And
He pushes through it and when you’re creating, you don’t worry about how perfect it is in the end. You just create, especially when it comes to writing because it’s a long haul. You don’t write a bestselling book in a day or a weekend or a month. It takes time. And in the process, you just do it. You set up a schedule, you create your writing space, you eliminate the distractions, and you write. Perfectionism.
Again, Pressfield talks about, it’s sort of a cousin. It’s the manifestation really of resistance, he says. We use all these areas in our lives to procrastinate, right? And I can speak to that as an entrepreneur who works from home. I’ve been working from home for over a decade. And there’s all kinds of ways to procrastinate from what I need to
Mickey Mellen (06:47)
Yep.
Anita Henderson (06:59)
So procrastination is sort of a manifestation of resistance. I can find a million things to do in my house. Maybe I need to go wash the dishes and just take a break. Maybe I’m stuck writing something or I’m editing something I don’t really feel like getting through and I can just go check the mail, load the dishwasher. I can think of a million things to procrastinate from what I’m actually doing. And as Pressfield says, we use quick fix things.
Right, something that offers a quick level of satisfaction, whether it’s food or shopping, sex, drugs, whatever things, some of these things that we often call addictions, because they offer quick emotional satisfaction to distract us from what we really should be doing, which is accomplishing our dream or our goal or writing 500 words today or adding to that beautiful painting or rehearsing your dance routine.
Mickey Mellen (07:58)
And that’s kind of, that initial quote I started with is that people don’t say, I’m not going to write, I’m not going to do it, I’m just going do it tomorrow. I have other things that are more important today like the dishes or whatever, so they put it tomorrow. There was another quote he had, he said, quote, never forget, this very moment we can change our lives. There never was a moment and never will be when we are without the power to alter our destiny. This second we can turn the tables on resistance. This second we can sit down and do our work. And so, again, if you’re waiting for that perfect time, you’re going to just wait the rest of your life. Exactly.
Anita Henderson (08:25)
There is no perfect time. There is no perfect time. And the other thing he talks about is that resistance only works in one direction. It only works when you’re moving forward. Like you don’t resist something when you’re just sitting there. Right? You don’t resist something when you’re moving backwards. It doesn’t feed your desires when you’re just stuck and you’ve decided, I’ll do
tomorrow or it’s not important, when you are moving forward and actually are thinking about accomplishing your goal and you’re taking one step and another step and you’re thinking and then you research and then you, like when you’re moving forward, that’s when the resistance comes. When you’ve decided to put it off another day as in procrastination, even though that’s a cousin to resistance, you don’t really feel the hardcore of
Asking yourself, this good enough? What will they think of me? You know, all those other resistance factors. You don’t hear that stuff in your head when you’re not doing the thing you should be doing. You hear those things when you’re moving
Mickey Mellen (09:37)
I never thought of it that way. That’s fantastic. Yeah, I love that.
Anita Henderson (09:40)
Yeah, yeah. And that too is when, and this is what Pressfield brings up, that too is when the self -sabotage comes in, right? You’re moving forward and you decide, you make the commitment to write every day or to practice your craft each day. And that’s when, you know, the little devil on your shoulder says, this is really doesn’t, who cares?
Mickey Mellen (09:48)
Mm -hmm.
Anita Henderson (10:07)
Who cares about your book? I hear that from my clients all the time. No one really cares. Are you such really the smarty pants expert that anyone really cares what you have to say? Well, they don’t hear that when they’re off doing something else. They only hear that little devil talking to them when they’re in the midst of writing, right? And that’s where the self -sabotage comes in. It is there to help you really kind of question what you’re doing and even question
how important it is, your dedication to your thing. So you can see it as a negative or a positive, but it only shows up, of course, again, when you’re moving forward and when you’re facing action to make progress on the thing you say you want to do.
Mickey Mellen (10:54)
Yep, and you alluded to it there and earlier about when you’re asking those questions that can be a positive One one thing I love from the book He said if you find yourself asking yourself and your friends am I really a writer? Am I really an artist? Chances are you are the counterfeit innovators wildly self -confident the real one is scared to death and I’ve heard this said about parenting too if the women that say am I really a good mother tend to be the best mothers because they’re always looking themselves and trying to improve themselves and see where they’re missing versus the ones that are super confident about anything
don’t take advice and just end up spiraling. I think, to your point, if you get into am I a good writer? Is this really good work? Like, it makes you want to work even harder to fix it, which is better than someone says, I’m perfect, I’m brilliant, and they put it out there and never give it the right look, you
Anita Henderson (11:37)
That’s the scary person who thinks they’ve got it all wrapped up in a bow, like a little overconfident that your book is great or you’ve got the best dance routine or whatever. Yeah, that’s kind of scary. I love that you mentioned the mother and the child because Pressfield also says that resistance is tied to love. If you don’t love the thing that you’re trying to accomplish, you’re not going to do it, period.
Mickey Mellen (11:41)
Mm -hmm. Yep.
Anita Henderson (12:04)
So when you love that thing so much, there is resistance that comes through. He talks about the fact that the opposite of hate is not love, the opposite of hate is indifference. And if we don’t love the thing we’re resisting, we might not resist it at all, right? The resistance of a loved thing comes from the desire to hold on to it as it is. It’s a great idea. I love the idea of writing a book, someone might say.
And they are afraid, here’s where fear comes in, they’re afraid to expand on it. Because what if, just because I love it, what if no one else will love it? It’s kind of like that mother and a child. If you’ve ever talked to a mom of a newborn, they want that baby to stay a baby forever. I don’t want my baby to grow up. Or as parents, they first day of school and all these things, my baby is getting bigger and bigger.
Mickey Mellen (12:51)
yes.
Anita Henderson (12:59)
they’re resisting a little bit the growth and the expansion and the evolution of that sweet little thing. Right? And for creators, it’s an idea. I love the idea of, you know, having my art displayed at a wonderful exhibit, but I got to do something else to make that happen. Right? And so that does relate to fear. It’s the fear of my thing growing up and my art expanding and maybe my book, you know.
being shown to the world. And so I’m known as the author’s midwife. And I tell people, when you show your book to the world, it’s like showing someone your ultrasound, right? And you’re counting all the fingers and toes, and so are they. And you’re like, my gosh, will they notice an error or whatever? And so you want to hold on to it forever and ever, because the idea of becoming a great author feels good, but actually making it happen, now that’s where the resistance comes in.
Mickey Mellen (13:32)
Hahaha.
Yeah.
Yep.
That’s a great analogy to children though. We became empty nesters a week ago. My youngest went off to college. So yeah, we’re at that point where I’m sad and I hate that, but I also love it because to see the women they’re becoming and they’re self -sufficient and it’s yeah, same kind of thing. I don’t want to let them go, but
Anita Henderson (14:03)
Congrats.
Mickey Mellen (14:13)
So glad I was able to let them go, that they developed to that point. I guess it’s the same with the book. You don’t want to let it go, but you should also be proud of. I went through this whole process. I spent this time. We reviewed, we edited, we cleaned up, and now I’ve got something great. I still don’t quite want to let it go, but I know it’s awesome if I do. And it’s good to have people like you there to help them through it.
Anita Henderson (14:27)
Yeah, because you didn’t create those beautiful girls just so that they can stay small and stay home and be, you you want them to go out into the world. You trust yourself as a parent that you’ve done all the best things for them. And now you want to see them blossom. You can’t do that if you keep them closely tied to you.
Mickey Mellen (14:33)
Exactly.
Mm -hmm. Yep.
Yep, for sure. One other area he got into was the principle of priority. He says the principle of priority states that you must know the difference between what is urgent and what is important and you must do what’s important first. And that’s kind of the Eisenhower matrix for people that know that thing, measuring important versus urgent. And it’s so tough because urgent things always want to come to the front. Like, I have six emails, I have to get to those first. You know, they’re not important. you’ve got to click. And I’m bad about that for sure.
But yeah, focusing on what’s really important versus what’s urgent. Do have any tips on how people can get better about that, whether it’s creating or just any area of life?
Anita Henderson (15:17)
Well, that goes back to that procrastination thing, right? Right? It’s like, I’ll do something else. I’ll get to this eventually. I think that when you, when you know what the end game is, and this speaks to goal setting for sure. And it speaks to me as well to visualization. Like at the beginning of a thing, when we’re creating something, whether it’s a new business or, you know, you’re starting in a new career or you’re creating.
Mickey Mellen (15:22)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Anita Henderson (15:47)
something that other people can engage with, you got to know what you want at the end. What does it look like when it’s done? And I take my clients through this process of visualizing when your book is finished. We got a lot of stuff in between like idea and finished product. A lot happens between concept and completion. So what does it look like when it’s complete? You know what it’s like now. It’s just an idea and you’ve got some words on a page and it looks like gibberish to you. But let’s envision what it feels
when you’ve got the book in your hand, when you are ready to share your story with the world, when people start to buy your book, when you’re at a book signing, when you’re speaking to an audience about the content in your book, imagine that. How does it feel? And so I think going to the end, or at least somewhere further than where you are today, visualizing that and actually feeling what that feels like is a point of reference.
when we get to that point of distraction, procrastination, perfectionism, all those things that really equal resistance, when we can go back to, I remember I said it’s gonna feel great when someone finally says, is the best book I’ve ever read on this topic. Hold that in your heart, hold that in your mind and say, okay, I can get to those emails later. Or I’ll wash the dishes tonight.
Mickey Mellen (17:14)
Gotcha, that’s fantastic. I’m curious now, looking back, I’ll have to do a search in Kindle later, how many times he says the word resistance in the book. It’s gotta be a lot. It’s relatively short book. For those of that hasn’t… Yeah.
Anita Henderson (17:22)
In the first half of the book, in the first half of the book, he says it a lot. And he talks about a lot of the resistance things that come up. I mean, it’s all about resistance.
Mickey Mellen (17:28)
He does. Yep.
Yeah, I measure books. I normally read books. I read this one, but I always look at the audible length for a general frame of reference. This is only a two and a half hour audible, so it’s a pretty quick read. if you’re listening and you’ve not read it, I mean you’ve kind of got the gist of it here, but it’s worth spending a couple hours just to get in and hear Stephen’s words on things because he continues just to beat the same drum. Something I’m kind of bad about is I like to say, I’ve said that before and I’m going to say something different here, and he hits the same thing over and over and over and over just to drill it in, which is fantastic. That’s how it should be. Again, I don’t know why I shy away from that because the best writers all do that.
Anita Henderson (17:57)
Mm -hmm.
Mickey Mellen (18:03)
They all have the thing and they push it as hard as they can push it to make sure you get it. And he does a fantastic job of that in this book.
Anita Henderson (18:09)
Well, we know we need to hear things multiple times. Even marketers, you know that. You need to repeat it multiple times. As consumers, we need to see a message multiple times in order to really get it. One of the things that stuck with me also, just from an entrepreneurial perspective that Pressfield talks about, is the fact that you actually have to respect your dream enough to treat it like a full -time job. And those people who approach
Mickey Mellen (18:12)
Yep. yeah, for sure. Yep.
Yep.
Anita Henderson (18:39)
whatever that goal is, that dream, whatever they’re creating, and look at it as something that has value, not only to you, but to other people, that should be some fuel to push you forward, to push you through that resistance. Because doing it just as a hobby makes it easier to slack off, right? But like he talked about his day in the life of a writer, if it was just a hobby, he wouldn’t get up at 6 a
Mickey Mellen (18:59)
You’re right, for sure.
Anita Henderson (19:07)
sit down and pound out 500, 1 ,000, 2 ,000 words and then get up and go, it would be like, eh, it’s Saturday. I don’t need to do that. I can do something else. Or it’s a beautiful day. I’m going surfing, whatever. You have to see yourself in the process of creation. See yourself as a professional. It ups the ante on what you’re doing. You might start to.
Imagine charging for your thing. If you’re creating a beautiful work of art and it’s difficult, you know, but you’re putting your heart and soul into it. If you can imagine that someone’s going to want to pay top dollar for that piece of art that you are creating, then you want to make it the very best it can be. And you show up regularly to make that creation something beautiful versus if you’re like, I’m just doing this for fun. And, you know, I’m just sort of a hobbyist when it comes to art.
It’s easy to not do it and not do your best, right? You have to commit to doing it consistently. When you see yourself as a professional, you tell other people, you talk about it all the time. You’re much more confident in the way you show up and the way you express your craft and your art to other people. You’re more organized with your time. You’re willing to face the adversity, right? And you don’t let setbacks stop you.
when you view yourself as a professional, even if it’s just for the moment of creating this one book. You’re not a professional author, but I’m gonna show up to write my book like it matters. It matters to me, it matters to other people, and I expect to get something out of this on the back end.
Mickey Mellen (20:52)
Awesome, well said. think it’s a good place to wrap this up. That’s a fantastic summary. think people, yeah, again, if you’ve not read this, highly encourage you to check it out and give it a read. It’s a pretty short read and it’ll challenge you on a lot of things. He’ll really push. doesn’t hold back. He packs it in. It’s my favorite kind of book where it’s not stretched out longer than it needs to be. He gets it all in. There’s no fluff. He gets it done and it was fantastic. So Anita, thank you so much for joining me today. Where can people find you online if they want to connect with you and learn more?
Anita Henderson (21:17)
you can find me at writeyourlife .net. It’s like you write a book, writeyourlife .net and you can set up a time to talk to me if you have a book idea in your head and you’ve been waiting to get it out and resistance has been kicking your butt, I’ve got your back. So Anita Henderson.
Mickey Mellen (21:31)
I bet you do. Awesome. Thank you so much. This was great. I appreciate
Anita Henderson (21:40)
Thanks, Mickey.
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